Things That Go Thump in the Night

Now that I’ve finally mostly gotten the baby to sleep through the night, my body doesn’t know what to do with all this extra sleep and I find myself tossing and turning when I used to be nursing the baby.  As I was lying awake in bed at 2:30 one morning, I start hearing what sounds like a tapping noise under my bed.  My first thought is water, but I know there are no pipes under my bed or even on the wall where I sleep.  My second thought is bug.  I want to ignore it.  Just go back to sleep.  But this constant tap, tap, tap is driving me insane.  I get my phone and turn the flashlight on.  I look underneath my bed.  All I can think is, this is a scene from a horror movie.

Of course living in a small house, I store stuff under the bed so I can’t actually see anything.  I move a backpack out of the way so I can see better.  The tapping stops for a minute.  I wishfully think maybe the heat did something to some object under the bed and it’s decompressing or some such thing.  Then the tapping starts back up.  It is then that I realize it is coming from my backpack.  I open up the backpack and shine the flashlight into all the little compartments.  I can’t see anything.

My husband is snoring next to me, blissfully unaware of what’s going on.  Not wanting to wake him up, I take the backpack and put it in the living room just wanting to get back to sleep.  I get back into bed and I don’t hear the tapping anymore, but at this point, my imagination is running wild and I have to find out what is making that noise.  So I get up and take the backpack into the bathroom and turn the light on.  I still can’t find anything.  I put the bag on the ground and I step all over it.  The tapping stops.  I get off the bag, the tapping starts back up.  I feel like a crazy person, although at what is now 3 something in the morning, I probably am half crazy.  I’m starting to rethink not waking up my husband.  I narrow down the tapping to the small pocket in the front of the backpack. I can actually feel the tapping through the bag.  I look again and there it is tucked in the corner, some kind of bug that presumably wants to get out.  I try to dump the bag upside down, but he’s holding on and not coming out.  I grab some toilet paper and try to pull him out that way.  I probably could have grabbed it with my hands, but that was not going to happen especially since I didn’t know what kind of bug it was, but I had to get it. So I took a pair of tweezers and grabbed at him.  That got his attention and he wanted out.  I was able to dump the bag upside down again and get him to come out.  I think it was a beetle of some kind. Whatever it was, I smooshed it with a little too much pleasure and flushed it down the toilet for good measure. I’ve always shaken out my shoes because you know scorpions, but now I have to add making sure I zip all my zippers too.  So it was more of a tap and not a thump.  I really don’t ever want to see the bug that wakes me up with a thump.


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